Wednesday, January 11, 2006

In 30 years...

Here's something I found on a message forum, hopefully, it's only a joke!

Headlines from the year 2036:

-Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

-White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

-Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

-Baby conceived naturally; scientists stumped.

-Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

-Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

-France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

-Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

-George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

-Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

-85-year, $75.8 billion study shows that: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

-Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. J

-Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

-Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

-Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

-New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2037.

-Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

-IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

-Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines

8 Comments:

  • LOL! especiallly the one about FL! ROFL!!!!

    re your commnet:
    its my rant :) I do that every so often...*nods* its kind of an intro to my other post.......

    By Blogger Kierstyn Paulino, at 7:01 AM  

  • brave new world?? LOL that is so funny....

    By Blogger Unconformed, at 10:23 AM  

  • it should say :
    ---------------------
    One of the topics that I believe God has put on my heart to talk about recently has been freedom (Re: America's freedom). Why is it important, what makes it valuable, and why we can't forget it. Like a wake up call. Hello America! your freedom is being taken away, but you have been so caught up in Hollywood that you don't even realize it! One day you're gonna wake up and all your freedoms will be gone, and you'll be asking WHAT HAPPENED? Then you'll find that, while you were being swept away with the tide, following the crowd, talking about who your favorite actor was...that the government slowly started taking away your rights.

    I'll go into more detail later.......

    ~Semper Fi!
    Kp
    ------------------------
    I don't know why it didn't, on my mom's computer it came up weird....maybe I can only see it on mine :S but anyway, thats my rant :)

    By Blogger Kierstyn Paulino, at 10:42 AM  

  • I love the NBA one. nine feet?

    By Blogger Matt A., at 3:16 PM  

  • We live in funny times now, by 2036 they had better have a better word to describe it!! :-)

    By Blogger Kaitlin, at 4:39 PM  

  • I wouldn't be surprised to see a few of those predictions actually come true.

    ; )

    By Anonymous Derek W., at 4:53 PM  

  • LOL - those are so funny, especially Pres. Chelsea Clinton! He, he, he! Thanks for sharing...

    By Blogger Kristin, at 5:53 PM  

  • thanks, and its going in the newest edition of CHYG :) see? it IS getting published! :D

    By Blogger Kierstyn Paulino, at 11:06 AM  

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